Friday, April 17, 2009

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

As I sat at my dentists office this afternoon, needing a filling in one of my teeth. (my least favorite place to be) An elderly gentleman walked in, and after checking in he sat down not far from me. He looked very fragile, with his white hair, wearing a dress shirt under his wool vest and dark dress pants, with church shoes. He sat down and was just staring into space, not really happy or sad. Just like me, not interacting... well of course he was a stranger to me, and I don't know if he knows Jesus or not, but God tells us in the Bible that for us to be like children. Which to me means I shouldnt be only aware of my world, but see others as well.

If I was brave enough I would have asked him how he was, how he saw life, and what was happening with him. Instead I sat in silence, ignoring his little dear self. It is kind of embarrassing for me to write this, but I believe I need to overcome this shyness I am feeling for no apparent reason. Why do I even feel this way, are there other people who feel like that, or is it just me? Well it doesn't really matter, for I tend to change my inner coward into the sophisticated chatterbox, well maybe not that much, but at least so I can just ask people how they are doing, and not feel that I have a mouth full of chalk.

I love those people who have a talent to just speak their minds to anyone. They are fun and outgoing, and there is never a dull or uncomfortable silence with them. My children for instance, Ariana my 4 year old, doesn't have a problem in just saying things to a room full of people and making them all laugh. One night we had about 20 people over for barbecue, and I was taking pictures of everyone, and decided to take a picture of my sister in-law with her husband, apparently she didn't care for that, and Ariana saw her look and said to me, 'mama, I cant believe you actually thought that they want a picture together', so everyone started laughing making her laugh as well. My 2 year old likes to sing, even in church, very loudly. Some people look at her funny, but that doesn't stop her.

Today as I look into the face in the mirror, and see a shy person, do you think tomorrow when I wake up I will see a brave, outgoing person? I can only hope.

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