Thursday, April 30, 2009

How delightful!

“But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law does he meditate day and night.” Psalm 1:2
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

What does this mean? How do I delight myself in the Lord? Does it mean like I delight myself in a good quality chocolate and a hot cup of green tea? Or a good mocha with whipped cream on top? Or like I delight in a hot, aromatic bubble bath, with scented candles all around me? Or how I delight in going faraway places and seeing different beautiful things? What does it mean to delight in his word, and in the Lord and meditate on it day and night? That’s what He is asking us to do, to delight in Him.
In the dictionary the word 'delight' means: Great pleasure, joy. Amazing that God wants us to enjoy Him and his word so much...

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverb 3:6

What does this mean? Does it mean I have to stop what I am doing and look up to Him? In between my dealings with my girls, in between cooking breakfast or lunch? When I am driving somewhere and stuck in traffic? Or falling asleep from exhaustion when I am nursing my little one? Yep, we do need to look up at Him wherever we are and whatever we are doing. Its seems very simple right? It takes a certain mindset, that’s for sure, and just being aware of what I am doing at every moment.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go: I will guide you with my eye.” Psalm 32:8

How do I know if He is guiding my path? How do I even know which way I am going? I do know that, we all need to be going someplace and not be standing still.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good” Psalm 34:8

How do we taste our Lord? To me tasting something usually means eating food, like good chocolate, good wine, good cheese, etc. Usually when I taste a certain food, it tells me if its good, or bad. Maybe next time I am eating something and tasting, I will remember this verse, and what it means to taste the Lord.

“And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in his salvation.” Psalm 35: 9

I like being joyful instead of being sad, depressed or glum. I bet we all want to be joyful instead of feeling down, but sometimes its so hard to be happy…. Instead I cry tears of sadness, despair, and fear…at least in one thing we can all be happy together, right? Lets rejoice together in our salvation!!! Lets delight in Him.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Afraid or Cautious?

I was watching ‘amazing race’ episode, the other day in which one lady was afraid of the water. She was afraid to swim, and my oldest daughter Ariana, who is 4 years old asked me why was she afraid? I explained to her that some people are afraid of water, some are afraid of heights, some are afraid of animals, or other things. I told her, you should never be afraid of anything because Jesus will keep you safe. We have to be brave, strong, and always try new things, and not be afraid of anything.

Ariana, is a cautious child, she likes to be safe. She holds my hand everywhere we go, and makes sure I am watching her when she is in the front yard watering her flowers. If she sees a car a mile away she wants to make sure everyone are on the farthest side of a sidewalk, from the road. She doesn’t like strangers, doesn’t like old men with beards. Even since she was a baby she always was on the safe, cautious side, never taking candy from strangers, unless I took from them first and gave it to her. She was nervous about riding her little tricycle down a slight hill, where all her other friends rode, finally she got enough courage to go down, but used her feet as brakes just to be on the safe side. She doesn’t care to go high on the swings. Nice and easy for her. My husband got a new swing set installed in our yard, and she was a bit nervous about using it at first. Today I watched her swing hard on it and she told me that she is not afraid to use it since Jesus is keeping her safe. Wow. I am proud of my little girl.

Don’t get me wrong, she does a lot of brave things, like climbing trees, killing mosquitoes, bees and other bugs. She loves to race and jump. She is very brave just on the cautious side.

You are my firstborn, my sensitive soul
You are my crybaby, the kissable sort
My picky eater, loves her sweets
You like to imagine of lands far away
Of beautiful princesses, fairies, and castles
You like to wear dresses, hair blowing wild
Climbing the trees, and sitting all quiet
In church you sing songs just like at home
Loud and clear to a beat all your own
You love pretty music, to sing and to dance
To dance like the whirlwind all over the place
To run in the wind, and have sun in your face.
I love your mind, the questions you ask,
The statements you make- can blow our brains away.
I love you my child, and cherish each moment with you.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Taking a short break.

Today when I woke up, the sun streaming through my blinds, I wanted to turn on the computer right away to check out the blog world, facebook, emails and things like that. I realized that I am addicted to the Internet, to the blog world. I love reading all the stories people write about. It amazes me how we can interact and get to know each other from different states, different countries, even different continents. I enjoy all the difference of writing style, all the different personalities that I can feel through the written word. So now you know my secret, I am addicted to the Internet.

So this morning when my 3 month old woke me up at 7am, with her little baby talk, I made myself and the baby presentable, then we did some Pilate's moves for my exercises, I read my bible, had some quiet time with Jesus. Took a little walk with the baby in my arms around my garden, enjoying the fresh, crisp smell of early morning. There was a bit of cool breeze from the delta, I imagined that I can even smell the salt from the ocean. Then I made myself a cup of my favorite coffee, and the little one was ready for her morning nap. My older girls woke up, and after giving them breakfast I was able to log in online. I know, I know I cant stay away the whole day!

I took a little break from the Internet world. I wonder how many other people feel addicted to it? If only we were addicted like this to the word of God, to His presence. Over the weekend I realized how life could be so unpredictable. A friend of ours who was a dear christian decided to leave his wife and his children and live a life of a single man. Makes me wonder what our world is coming to? God knows what is in every ones heart, sometimes we can hide it, or the evil things we do, or think. But eventually it will show it self.

'You will show me the way of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy, in your hand there are pleasures forever.' Psalm 16:11
'He brought me forth into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness: according to the cleanness of my hands..' Psalm 18:19-20

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Gods love...

i love you so, my child
like ocean loves the sand
like sky loves the clouds
like earth loves the rain
i love you so, my child
it hurts to see you cry
it hurts to see you lonely
to see you weak and lost
hold on to me my child
oh raise your voice to me
and raise your hands to heaven
and i will help you rise

Thursday, April 23, 2009

You are more valuable than birds.

Little birds can't fly.
You remember the story I told you earlier in the week about the bee sting? How I told my girls about it? Well the other day my four year old was running around in the yard, and comes back to tell me that she saw a big bee just like the one who stung me on the lake, and maybe it’s the same one, so she just stepped on it with her shoe to kill it. I got worried and told her not to step on any bees, since they could sting you. Later as I was watering the tomato and red pepper plants, and looking at little cucumber shoots, from the seed packet of about 24 plants, only 4 survived… I saw my 4 year old waving her arms and stumping her foot.
“What are you doing?”- I asked her.
“I am trying to scare the bee away”, as I came closer to see what she was pointing at, I saw a tiny baby bird, without any feathers yet. It was dead.
“Are you saying this is the bee?”
“A very large, ugly bee..”
“Its not a bee, it’s a baby bird, it fell from a tree, and now its dead”, my two year old started to cry, as we carried it to the garbage, she wanted to know why we were throwing a baby bird into a garbage, to comfort her I told her that she was actually in heaven with Jesus, and then there was a long discussion on how birds and animals die, and why they die, and what happens when you are dead. My four year old was very upset that she stepped on a bird and not a bee that stung my foot. My husband thinks the bird died when it hit the ground, since the nest was so high up.

The day before that, my four year old gave her heart to Jesus, which was very sweet. I wish we all could have the simple faith of a child, maybe that’s why Jesus told us to be like children. Innocent and precious. That night as she prayed to Jesus, she thanked Him for sunshine, for clouds, for grass, for a dandelion, for a dead baby bird, and sorry that she stepped on it..
If only our life was that simple, or maybe it is, we just tend to worry so much about every little thing, and Jesus said we shouldn't’t worry about things that we have no control about.
‘Therefore I say unto you, don't worry about everyday life- whether you have food, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds, they don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them, and you are far more valuable to him than they are. Can all your worried add a single moment to your life? Of course not.’ Matthew 6:25
‘..for your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.’ Matthew 6:32-33

I worry so much about my family, my children, finances, and so many more things of everyday life. I wish everything could be more simple and carefree. I believe that is not possible in this life, that is how life is made for us to have hardships, sorrow, struggle, pain, and worry. I love the happy days and I am so thankful to my Jesus for days of sunshine and laughter.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Honey and The Bee.

My kids love drinking tea with some honey to sweeten it. If I let them they would probably eat it with spoonfuls out of a jar, and not think twice about it. I tell myself that well it is better then sugar. Honey has a lot of nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. It promotes energy and healing. It is a natural antiseptic and makes a good salve for burns or wounds. I only give it to my kids in their tea or their oatmeal instead of sugar.

Yesterday we went to the lake with all the little kids, and my husband was wistfully remembering when we just got married and had no children, how nice it was just to go places just the two of us, and not bring the whole brood and all the attachments(like toys, extra clothes, stroller, ear plugs..). We love our 3 little girls and all the excitement they bring, the questions, the wonder, but its nice to remember when it was just the two of us. The lake was beautiful, more water in it, than last year. The girls wanted to play by the water, so my husband took them down to the sand, as I stayed back to nurse my little infant to sleep. After a little while we switched places, and I went down, while my hubby stayed with the sleeping infant. The girls were sitting by the water, all wet and sand all over themselves. "What were you doing I asked them in amazement?" "We are playing..", as they threw sand all over themselves and into the water. I took of my sandals to enjoy the sand as well, and as I was walking around the little shore, I experienced a very sharp pain in my heel, I though that I stepped on a piece of glass. Looking down I noticed a bee on my heel, which I shook off, and saw the little stinger that the bee inserted into my heel.. Poor thing I thought, she stings me and then she dies, for no bee can live without her stinger. Good thing it was me, and not my husband who is allergic to bee stings, and would probably developed a bad reaction.

The day went very nicely, if not counting the bee sting, the girls had so much fun, with the sand and water, running on the grass, and throwing Frisbees. On our way home I had to explain to my 4 year old, why and how the bee stung me, a few times at least. After a long day they were ready for bed earlier then usual, and again I had to repeat the story of how the bee stung my heel and why did she do it. I don't really know why she did it, do you?? Maybe she was scared of my big heavy foot landing on her tiny little body?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Sleep deprived light!

Today I am sleep deprived, groggy, and in a I will probably misspell more words then I usually do. My little baby girl, who is 3 1/2 months old, was crabby, didn't want to sleep, woke up at 1am and went back to sleep at 4:30am. She kept pushing her little chubby hands into her mouth, maybe she is teething already? Usually my kids don't get their first tooth until 10 months, but who knows? Each child is different. My 2nd child, Odelia decided that since mommy is awake anyway, she will keep crying as well to keep me extra company... :) she kept waking up, crying, and yelling at the top of her lungs 'I want mommy...', which i was trying to keep down so not to awake my oldest child, promising her things that I would give her in the morning if only she would be quiet..(candy, hot chocolate, ice cream) I am a good parent, huh? Still she kept yelling, so I decided to scare her a bit and told her that if she doesn't be quiet, I will put her outside so the mosquitoes can eat her, or I would call the police officer to come and get her, because she is disturbing the people who want to sleep! am I bad or what, oh well. Finally she fell asleep after she woke up my oldest child, Ariana. (or maybe she woke up when she heard the word hot chocolate, which she loves) Around 6:30am Ariana has woken up, marched into my bedroom and told me that its morning and she wants her hot chocolate. It took a little while to convince her that it was still too early for me to heat up hot chocolate, the kitchen will open at 9am! So you see how my night went... very exciting I am sure.

The real reason I wanted to talk about was yesterday my husband took the older girls to the church service, so I got to stay home with the baby, and after she fell asleep, I had a date with Jesus... reading my bible. I love the quiet time, so precious.

I was reading Matthew, chapter 5. Some of the verses I was meditating on were; 8,14,16 and 48.
'Ye are the light of the world'
'Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven'
'Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect'

I want to be a bright light, to shine in these dark times. I know I am far from being perfect, can anyone even get close? I believe we all can be a little more loving, a little more gentler, a little more giving, a little more friendlier, a little more helpful.. more smiles, less frown.. Help me Jesus to be what you want me to be.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

As I sat at my dentists office this afternoon, needing a filling in one of my teeth. (my least favorite place to be) An elderly gentleman walked in, and after checking in he sat down not far from me. He looked very fragile, with his white hair, wearing a dress shirt under his wool vest and dark dress pants, with church shoes. He sat down and was just staring into space, not really happy or sad. Just like me, not interacting... well of course he was a stranger to me, and I don't know if he knows Jesus or not, but God tells us in the Bible that for us to be like children. Which to me means I shouldnt be only aware of my world, but see others as well.

If I was brave enough I would have asked him how he was, how he saw life, and what was happening with him. Instead I sat in silence, ignoring his little dear self. It is kind of embarrassing for me to write this, but I believe I need to overcome this shyness I am feeling for no apparent reason. Why do I even feel this way, are there other people who feel like that, or is it just me? Well it doesn't really matter, for I tend to change my inner coward into the sophisticated chatterbox, well maybe not that much, but at least so I can just ask people how they are doing, and not feel that I have a mouth full of chalk.

I love those people who have a talent to just speak their minds to anyone. They are fun and outgoing, and there is never a dull or uncomfortable silence with them. My children for instance, Ariana my 4 year old, doesn't have a problem in just saying things to a room full of people and making them all laugh. One night we had about 20 people over for barbecue, and I was taking pictures of everyone, and decided to take a picture of my sister in-law with her husband, apparently she didn't care for that, and Ariana saw her look and said to me, 'mama, I cant believe you actually thought that they want a picture together', so everyone started laughing making her laugh as well. My 2 year old likes to sing, even in church, very loudly. Some people look at her funny, but that doesn't stop her.

Today as I look into the face in the mirror, and see a shy person, do you think tomorrow when I wake up I will see a brave, outgoing person? I can only hope.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Think of the things that make you happy.

Think of the things that make you happy,
Not the things that make you sad;
Think of the fine and true in mankind,
Not its sordid side and bad;
Think of the blessings that surround you,
Not the ones that are denied;
Think of the virtues of your friendships,
Not the weak and faulty side;

Think of the gains you’ve made in business,
Not the losses you’ve incurred;
Think of the good of you that’s spoken,
Not some cruel, hostile word;
Think of the days of health and pleasure,
Not the days of woe and pain;
Think of the days alive with sunshine,
Not the dismal days of rain;

Think of the hopes that lie before you,
Not the waste that lies behind;
Think of the treasures you have gathered,
Not the ones you’ve failed to find;
Think of the service you may render,
Not of serving self alone;
Think of the happiness of others,
And in this you’ll find your own!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Children of mine.

I am blessed with three little girls. As I received each gift, I was amazed by Gods miracle of each tiny hand, and little toes. I am thankful for their health, their beauty, their awesome minds. It says in the bible that we are made in the image of God, and I can see the little darlings that God has blessed me with.

Ariana, my first born is a quiet, imaginative 4.9 year old. She is getting ready to go to school when fall comes this year. She loves to dress up and play tons of different Disney characters, loves to read, to draw, to play, to run, to jump, to climb trees, help me in the kitchen and now is a good story teller to her sisters.

Odelia is my second child, she is 2 years old. She loves to take care of everybody around her, very helpful, very caring, loves music, loves to sing, to dance, to read, and to take toys apart.

My littlest one, is Leona, she is 3 months old. She is my sunshine, so full of smiles, and now she is beginning to laugh. She loves to nurse, to cuddle, to stare and memorize my face, and loves it when her sisters play with her.

This is my little family that God has blessed me with. Thank you Jesus.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Where are You?

We had some amazing days of rain, which we desperately need, the dry earth soaked up the moisture like a sponge, and as I was sitting in my garden my shoes caked with fresh mud, I wondered where God was.
I prayed for wisdom, and I prayed for Him to come and guide me, to be my Savior. But nothing happened, and as I sat staring at the little seedlings, that were growing, worrying that they would not survive the hard rain that we had, I realized that sometimes God needs to soak our hard hearts with moisture, so the seeds He will put in will be able to grow.

Later that day I was putting my little girls to sleep, and I was having a hard time in doing so, they were just so hyper and full of energy, and just would not go to sleep. They laughed, giggled, screamed, complained, cried, cried some more. They wanted water, then milk, then my toddler wet the bed, somehow, I have no idea how, but the diaper did not hold it. I got mad as I changed the bedding, changed her pajamas, and threw the wet diaper on the floor in frustration, which spilled all the wet smelly guts out on my carpet, just imagine my frustration mountain as I had to pick up every little wet shred. Finally they were in bed, and I went to put my infant to sleep nursing her in my bed, when I heard the oldest of two girls open her bedroom door as she announced loudly that she is going to the bathroom, the little one followed her, but instead of to the bathroom she opened my door where I almost nursed the baby to sleep, apparently my husband didn’t see them going as he was watching the news. That’s when I really got angry and screamed at the kids.

Later when I was finally able to go to sleep myself, I realized that God showed me my inner self, and how upset and angry I got. How can God live in my heart which was full of turmoil, anger. How can I feel His holy presence while I was a sinner. That actually made me happy, God wasn’t ignoring my prayer, He is here, He does want to live in my heart, and He is showing me what I have to change for Him to act in my life.

I prayed and asked for My Lord to help me overcome my anger. To feel peace, and to love my kids without getting angry and frustrated. Is that even possible?
I wonder what God will show me next, cant wait. :) :)

'Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.' (Ephesians 4:31) NLT
'Beloved , be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in gods sight.' (James 1:19) NLT

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Seeking God.

My Lord, where are you? My soul needs You. I need to find You.
‘O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.’ Ps. 63:1-2
This verse perfectly describes my longing for God.
But how do I find Him, where do I look? You’ll be amazed to know that I was born into a Christian family and went to church every week, was baptized, and married a Christian man. I even remember when I was a teenager I gave my heart to Jesus. So why am I looking for Him, don’t I know where He is? How can I not know, I am a Christian. I know that I need to read the bible to find the answers, so that’s where I will start looking for the Greatest God ever. When I was a teenager I remember feeling Him near me, so I know the feeling of having a relationship with Him, and I want it back. How did I lose it? I don’t really know, through all the years of working, being a wife, of having my 3 little girls, and finally looking around me, and I am alone, He is not near me anymore… and it’s a scary feeling, a lonesome feeling. I want to be near His holiness again, I want to feel His presence around me, His amazing love.
This is how I am on this quest to find my God, my Savior. Yesterday I asked Lord Jesus to guide me into His presence again, to feel His amazing love again, for Him to teach me about my life and to show me His Holiness. To make me His servant so I can be of use to Him. To tell you the truth I am really scared, because I don’t want him to touch my life, or my husband, or my children. But being a coward will not stop me from seeking the Lord, and I lay my all at His feet.
Maybe someone else is looking for a meaning in this life, looking for God, then maybe we can seek together.
It is raining outside my window today, and I pray for God to send rain for my soul, so it can bring forth fruit, and not be barren. (Did I tell you that I am scared?)
I was reading the Audrey-Caroline story, which touched me deeply. The story showed me how near God was to Audrey’s mom, how he is directing her life into His grand plan. I want to feel that too. His nearness, His holiness, His awesomeness, His guidance, His hand on my life. (But I am scared, and I don’t want Him to touch my kids. Or my husband.)
I pray for my Jesus Christ to help me overcome this fear I have and to guide me into his loving, holly Presence. Thank you Lord.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

5 Things I Love About Being A Mother.

Motherhood, what wonder! It is hard to be a mother, its the hardest job ever, and sometimes we forget that there are the good things about being a mother that we love. When I think about the things I love on being a mother it all makes perfect sense, and somehow its much easier to be the mother I want to be.
1. I love being pregnant, with all its symptoms, the secret feeling of knowing you have a beginning of a life inside you, the first movement of a little foot, the first glance at a sweet face, the wonder of your baby forming, the trill of seeing her sweet face for the first time, the birth (well maybe not that part), and holding them for the first time with their flailing arms, the sweet smell of a new baby, to cuddle that soft cheek to yourself, and to know that this is your baby. What a miracle!
2. I love seeing my children grow, how they change, with all the first things they do, the first smile, the first giggle, the first tooth, their little chubby hands in their mouths, when they learn to sit, to stand, to walk. The wonder in their faces when they see something new and exciting. The first words they say, the first songs they sing. The smart, cute things they say, that makes you laugh. The faces they make when they try a new food. Its a wonderful time.
3. I love nursing my little ones. When I was first pregnant, I didn't think I would enjoy this thing called breastfeeding, but knowing the benefits of it, I tried, and it wasn't that bad, in fact it was beautiful and it is the best thing you can give your baby at any time. Its their food, their comfort, their love, their hiding place from the big scary world. Its you there for your baby.
4. I love this feeling for my child I have, this huge love, more than anything I ever felt, it is much more then our love for our husbands, or parents, or anyone else, its not compared to anything you may love. It is amazing, when we have a child, that's when we first realize how sweet love is and how God must love us, with all the faults we have.
5. I love being a mother to my girls, the mothering, the book reading, the playtime, the tickling, the kissing, the sweet little arms hugging you, how they want to climb on your lap, the eyes that stare at you with trust and wonder...its the best thing ever!

Sunday, April 5, 2009


What makes us sad? What is this feeling that squeezes our hearts? That could make us cry uncontrollable tears? That pulls us down to our knees....? Sadness.
I bet Eve was the first one to feel this feeling when she was banished from Eden, and when she found out that her son was dead. The first tears, the anguish, the despair... From then on it continues- not missing a single person. It knocks on our doors and like an unwelcome guest spreads the dark clouds, the coldness, the salt tears.
It all starts in childhood, a broken toy, then a broken heart, a broken marriage. Some things we can easily fix and forget the tears, while others take longer to mend, to heal, for us to feel happy again. Sometimes we gather the sadness to ourselves like a heavy blanket not willing to let it go, to forgive, to move on. We don't let ourselves be happy again, we don't think we deserve it.
I felt sadness numerous times. When my brother drowned, when my grandma and grandpa died, when I had a miscarriage. As well as from simple things, a harsh word, losing contact with a friend, flowers wilting, a dead bird.
Today I am happy, I feel fulfilled. I love staying home with my 3 little girls, watching them grow, not missing a single thing. What makes me sad is that with this economy I will have to probably go back to work in a few weeks.... and that makes me sad, I don't want to leave my 4 month old with a babysitter, as well as my older girls. Why should someone else have the pleasure of raising my kids, of watching them do things, of feeding my baby? It makes me a little mad, but mostly I feel a deep sadness.
Lucky you, if you are able to raise your children yourself, and you are stay at home mom. You are so blessed!!!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Loving books!

My girls love it when I read them books. Odelia my two year old made me read her 3 books before her nap today… which is fine sometimes. Sometimes I get lazy so I tell her to read them herself. Do all kids love books?? I do remember when I was a child I loved to read and had a fat book of fables that my father brought me. Is reading books hereditary? If I love reading then my kids will like reading as well? I believe that is not usually the case.
We want to be knowledgeable, but sometimes what we really need is wisdom, and what better book to read than the bible, which is full of wisdom. Sometimes I feel that life is so full of questions, and that its hard to find the answers to my ‘why’ and ‘when’. When I was young and carefree with no husband and no children, I felt that life was hard and sometimes unfair. How little did I know then what I know now. God is the one who gives us wisdom, for He is the one who is Wisdom. His holy bible is his letter to us his children so we can read it and gather wisdom like jewels. I feel that everybody has a story to tell with its troubles and joy. I wonder what makes one person experience problems and sorrow and still come out stronger and a better person for it. While others became bitter and vindictive and just not be able to let go and to live happily.
I still love books, and want my children to love them too. But mostly I want to fall in love in reading the bible and for my children to follow me too.
‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction’. Proverbs 1:7

Friday, April 3, 2009

The basics first- my childhood. (part 2)

My childhood has good moments too. I remember my dad used to take me to the city center where there were all kind of shops, and restaurants. He would buy me the Russian bread cider, which was cold and frothy… then we stopped at the ‘sunshine’ cafĂ©, where he bought me a delicious ice cream. On my birthday he took me to a shop where they had all kinds of dolls, and asked me which one I wanted. I remember I picked a very tall to my chest doll, with pretty brown hair. On hot summer days we would all go to the nearest river to swim. One day I was in the garden where my father kept his bee hives. He was working on one bee family and I guess something happened and I was in the path of an angry bee family, which all attacked me, my face, my hands… I went screaming, trying to block my face… my dad didn’t know what to do, so he grabbed the first thing he saw, which was a can of gasoline, and started spraying me with it, to scare the bees away. I don’t remember what happened next and my father cant even remember the episode.
Its funny how different our memories are from our parents, certain things I remember that my mom or dad cant even recall. I believe what ever is traumatic, scary or unusual a child will probably remember, as well as the good happy times. That’s why I want to give my girls the good memories they can remember, but the sad thing is that sometimes we as parents cant block our kids from all the unpleasant and scary or unhappy memories.
I remember climbing trees, running, living in my imaginary world, reading interesting books, and lots of other good memories, but I also remember pulling weeds, doing laundry, cleaning, washing and doing an endless list of chores.
When I was 12 we moved from Ukraine to America, my parents and 6 kids. We first stopped in Austria, where we stayed in a very tall hotel, in the middle of a very large city. We used to go with our father across the street to a very lovely park, with beautiful statues, fountains and flowers. I still had my tall very heavy doll with me, which I used to make my little sister carry, but one day she got sick and threw up on it, that was the last time I made her carry it. But my father left it in that hotel not wanting to be burdened by a very uncomfortable large doll. I was very sad. From then we were transported to Italy, and stayed in a very nice hotel as well, I remember it was very hot there. We always had hot chocolate for breakfast, and noodles swimming in butter for lunch. We probably had other things too, but that’s all I remember of what we ate. We had church every day, and we lived there for 3 months. After that we were transported to New York, and from there we were moved to our final destination in Portland, Oregon. It was an exciting trip for me, but probably stressful and scary for my parents. Its was October 1989. My mother gave birth to my sister after we got settled in Oregon.
I went to 5th grade, and at first I was just sitting watching the clock, until it turned 3:00pm so I could go home. After a while I started to understand what was being said and learned to speak English. School was fun for me, I liked to read so I was very excited when I could understand English books. I liked to draw which made it my favorite subject. The only unpleasant thing was that a lot of students didn't like Russian people, and I was called names and made fun off. There was one instance when a boy used to always ridicule me, the teacher heard but didn't say a word. That was sad, it still makes me cringe.
I graduated with flying colors and became an adult. In one way its easier to be an adult since when children grow up they tend to leave the unpleasant behavior behind them, but of course not all.
The lesson here is that kids are very sensitive, some more so then others, teach your kids to love all kinds of differences in other people and teach them not to ridicule anyone else. Now being an adult I understand children all tend to make fun of each other, but when I was a child no one told me that. Lets forget the sadness and lets be happy that we are alive and that God loves all of us equaly for which I am thankful.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Open your eyes

Open your eyes that you may see

The beauty that around you lies,

The misty loveliness of the dawn,

The glowing colors of the skies;

The child's bright eager eyes of blue,

The gnarled and wrinkled face of age,

The bird with crimson on his wing

Whose spirit never knew a cage;

The roadsides' blooming goldenrod

So brave through summer's wind and heat,

The brook that rushes to the sea

With courage that naught may defeat.

Open your eyes that you may see

The wonder that around you lies;

It will enrich your every day

And make you glad and kind and wise.

(Emma Boge Whisenand)