Happy and sad.

Miscarriage is a sad and a happy thing. The sad part is that you loose a little darling baby, and the happy part is that you have a little angel waiting for you in heaven.

Sometime life gives us unpredictable turns and we have to go through valleys of sadness and tears. That is when the beauty around us that God created comforts our souls, eases the sadness and makes life bearable, a little bit at a time. When I got the news that I was having a miscarriage, after having 4 children, I thought that I wont be sad, but it is still pretty sad, and you feel out of control a bit lost, and things we planned will not happen. That is when I know that God is always in control, whatever happens, happens for a reason, and He is our Life, Love and Comfort.

New baby.

One day I was pregnant, and another day I was not.
One day I couldn't bend down to put my socks on, and another day I could even put my foot on my knee.
One day I was walking and waddling back and forth, and another day I am walking and hurting all over.
One day I couldn't sleep because I was so uncomfortable, and another day I cant sleep because a little someone is keeping me awake by nursing all night long.

I guess that is what happens when you get a new baby in your life, huh?

I had a little baby boy on Monday at 1:25am. Some babies just like being born at night. Everything went fine, and I got to take a little bundle of joy home. Now I am still tired, emotional, still a bit sore and tender, don't have much energy. But I am sure by the time our little guy turns 1 week I will feel better, or a bit like my old self.

There is always just so much to do. With spring underway, or at least in this part of the world, I want to start growing things, but not yet. I need to get my health back on tract. I just hate waiting, and resting, and feeling tired, sleepy, emotional, and so out of balance.

But its all worth it, when we have such a beautiful little gift from God that I get to hold, and kiss, and rock, and nothing is more sweet in this world as being someones mommy. :)

A new day.

Every day we open our eyes its a new day! We can start fresh every morning. I opened my eyes today, the weather was beautiful, blue skies, sunshine, birds chirping, such  a good day to be born. Yes, I am hoping my baby will be born today. I am getting contractions off and on, so we will see.

I was reading this book, and there was a saying in it that I really liked. Maybe you will like it too?

~~ Every day has its own gift.~~

Isn't that just so true. Sometimes the gifts we receive are not as fun, or make us happy, but I believe every gift could be for our good, for us to learn to be better, more generous, more kind, happy instead of sad. That every gift could be hiding a special something inside, that we will understand over a period of time.

Like every season has its reason. Cold air, wind, rain, snow in the winter. Sunshine, flowers, rain, green grass in the spring. Hot air, mosquitoes, gardening, swimming in the summer. And in the fall we have colorful leaves, browns, getting cold, some rain. See every season has its reason and there is a reason for each thing that happens. That is how it is with us too. Every day we can learn, or suffer. We can choose to be happy, or complain. We always have a choice. Even the bible has a saying that I love.

~~
Deu 30:19I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live.~~

So you see we have the power to choose life or death everyday. Every day we make that choice. And every day there is a book that is written in heaven about our life, so that one day we will come before the Lord and Savior and he will see what he have chosen here on earth, that is what we will have in heaven too. By choosing love, kindness, generosity, soft sweet words, we automatically choose heaven and all its blessings, but when we choose to be grouchy and mean, and selfish, well then its the opposite. Its all in our choices. Lets make good, wise choices every day, so we wont be ashamed to come before God on the first day when we close our eyes here forever.

38 weeks and gardening.

I am 38 weeks pregnant now, wow, how did I reach this date so fast? I will be 39 weeks on Friday, I wonder if according to my dream baby will come on Saturday, the 28th. I guess we can just wait and see. Went to get my NST's done today again. In half hour that I was there, they only spotted one contraction, and I didn't even feel it. The baby's heart beat was perfect like always, but my ob wants to be safe, so that is why they do the NST(fetal non-stress test).

I feel great for being fully pregnant, and full term. Braxton hicks come and go, sometimes I get like 10-15 a day, sometimes less. They are more intense now, not like they used to be, when they first started at week 20.  The girls keep asking me when baby will get here? Only God knows, he sets up birthdays.

I finished packing my hospital bag last night, got the car seat cleaned and ready. I am so excited that my 3 year old is finally fully potty trained. She was my hardest, or longest one to train. Now only my little newborn will need diapers. Huge money saver. So I am ready to go, now just wait and see.

I wonder when I can order my seeds to start growing things for my garden. I have two catalogs that I love to browse through. The first one is Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds. The second one is Bountiful Gardens. Oh the things we imagine our garden will look like come spring and summer, more beautiful, more lush, with more vegetables, and flowers. I want to plant many different varieties this year. I cant wait! I am also ordering many gardening books from the library on gardening, and other interesting things pertaining to gardening, growing, seeds, compost and others.... so fun!
Here are some of the books I want to own: Creating a Forest Garden, Edible front yard, 
and The complete compost Gardening Guide.

Gardening is so much fun to dream and plan about, especially when it is cold and gray outside. But first things first, which is getting my body ready for a painless blessed birth experience, and praying and hoping for the best one yet!

The benefits of coconut oil.

Lately I have been studying on coconut oil, the benefits of it, how healthy it is for us. I have found that it has many unique health benefits. Here are just some of them:
-it has high amounts of lauric acid, that is also found in mothers milk
-it is a natural antibiotic
-it is an immune-enhancer
-it is anti inflammatory, helps with infections, and inflammation
-it is antibacterial, kills bacteria
-it is antiviral, kills viruses, helps with the flu
-it protects the body from protozoa (parasites)
-it provides energy and nutrition to the whole body
-it protects the body from fungi, worms and yeast
-it makes the body work better, function better, metabolize better, defend better, heal better
-it has no side effects, safe on babies all the way to the elderly
-it is very beneficial on skin, helps with rashes, infections, cuts, blisters, burns, stretch marks, cellulite
-it is very good for your face and hair, helps with blemishes, wrinkles and zits
-it is helpful with a lot of diseases, helps to regulate cholesterol without drugs, helps with depression, mood swings, diabetes, cardiovascular health, arthritis, joint pain, and many other health issues

Isn't it amazing? Just read these books and you will agree with me.

Coconut cures.
Amazing stories on benefits of coconut oil.
Eat fat, lose fat.

There are a lot of information online about the benefits of coconut oil. You can investigate on your own. Its a myth that it has bad cholesterol, and that it is an unhealthy fat. Yes it is bad for you if you buy the hydrogenated coconut oil and not the organic virgin coconut oil. After I read about the amazing benefits of coconut oil, from many different sources, I started to give a teaspoon a day to my girls. I put some on my face to prevent wrinkles, and blemishes. I rub it on my very pregnant belly now, it helps with itching and stretchmarks. I love the smell of it, it absorbers very fast, and doesn't leave a sticky or oily residue. Oh, and the best part it regulates my weight even when I am pregnant. The body feels satisfied faster, I don't have the hunger pangs, and helps in preventing me eating high sugary foods, which are not that good for me. The picture didn't really turn out as good as I hoped, it is kind of dark. But here I am 28 weeks pregnant.

The last harvest from our garden.

The top photo is the sunflower seeds.

The top photo are dried flowers... will get seeds to plant flowers for next year.

The bottom photo are the actual flowers, still blooming even now, while the weather slowly turns colder and fall like.

Still beautiful in all seasons. Even me pregnant and swollen, but beautiful in growing a child within me.  At least thats what my husband always tells me. ;)

24 weeks and counting.

happy and upset....

I am feeling upset today. Well first I felt very happy, but now I am upset, angry and confused. I am 19 weeks pregnant, and had my ultrasound today.... and yes, I am having a little baby boy! So I am beyond trilled, even though we knew we were having a boy long time ago, but its always nice to see your baby on the ultrasound as well. The doctor said everything looked great and that he will see me back for a follow up ultrasound visit in 8 weeks, and I drove home in a happy mood. Its pretty hot today, almost 97 degrees. When I got home, my doctor called back and said that he forgot to mention that my varicella test came back showing that I got re-infected with chicken pox, if that is even possible and that the baby may not grow as well as he hoped, and that he my develop a heart problem or an infection, and that I should come back in 2 weeks for a repeat ultrasound and to monitor the baby's heartbeat. I got mad, "what??" what percentage is there that baby will not grow normally? a very tiny percentage. What percentage is there that baby can develop a heart problem, or some kind of infection? A very tiny percentage. So why in the world am I supposed to come in earlier, and get all worried about this. I guess I am feeling irrational, and not thinking clearly. But what he told me made me upset. I wish I didn't have to think about this, but just concentrate on the beautiful healthy baby growing strong every day in my belly. Knowing that he will be OK, because he is in Gods hands. To trust God that everything will be just perfect. But it still makes me pretty upset. So there. I vented. I feel better now. The weather is still pretty hot, makes me sleepy. The girls are playing in the backyard, running under the sprinkles, enjoy the last days of summer heat.

So I feel happy like that pretty pink flower, and sad like a rocky shore by a cold lake.

In having a child.

With having three little girls, I get a constant stream of questions from everyone to find out if we are going to try for a boy? Its almost funny to see people's reactions when I tell them that, "Yes I will have another baby when the Lord deems appropriate for us." Usually everyone think I am a bit crazy for wanting to 'try' for a boy, when we already have 3 girls. While we can 'try' all we want, but only God knows who we will have as our 4th child. How can anyone even know for sure? For my next child God may bless me with another girl again, which is just fine with me, since I love having girls, and they bring such sweetness to my family. Why do people think that we will 'try' for a boy next time anyway? I mean is there a special way of 'trying'?? Is there like some kind of rule to follow? Its almost funny to talk about this. When only God will know the gender of my 4th child. I also told everyone that when I do get pregnant with my 4th child, I will not find out the gender until delivery... so Ha!! No one will know until baby arrives.

Then another funny thing is, how I even can think about having another child, when I have a 10 month old baby girl. I wonder too sometimes, why do I even think about being pregnant, or going into labor, or having another child, when its was just recently that I had a little one... I think I am getting addicted to being pregnant, and having a little newborn to hold on to.... Because it is very precious indeed. Don’t you think so?