Myself and motherhood.

Everyone knows that becoming a mother is an amazing experience, I should know, I have 6 children. The only thing no one tells you is that a lot of time, with each child you feel like there is no more of self left, except being a mommy 24 hours/7 days a week. Children bring a lot of joy to us, a lot of challenges, and a lot of pain.
I keep telling myself that with each child, with each stage of their life, it is changing so fast, babyhood, moves into teenagers, into adults, that we are amazed to see how everyone have grown. It is like you wake up one morning and stare at those rowdy teenagers at your breakfast table and wonder where did they come from, because they were just little ones, just not long ago, throwing food on the floor, and spitting, and diaper changing, but now they are grown, and ready to depart for college. Wow, it is amazing how time flies.
If you are going through hard times with your little ones, or big kids, know that everything will pass, and then one day when you are old and gray and only are able to see your grand kids once in awhile, you will remember these rowdy times, these tears and hugs, and know that it was all worth it.

Happy and sad.

Miscarriage is a sad and a happy thing. The sad part is that you loose a little darling baby, and the happy part is that you have a little angel waiting for you in heaven.

Sometime life gives us unpredictable turns and we have to go through valleys of sadness and tears. That is when the beauty around us that God created comforts our souls, eases the sadness and makes life bearable, a little bit at a time. When I got the news that I was having a miscarriage, after having 4 children, I thought that I wont be sad, but it is still pretty sad, and you feel out of control a bit lost, and things we planned will not happen. That is when I know that God is always in control, whatever happens, happens for a reason, and He is our Life, Love and Comfort.

Blue.

I count my blessings when my heart feels sad.... there is so much beauty, so much sweetness around me, but I am sad that I have to go back to work after my maternity leave has ended. My little one is used to fall asleep as he nurses, his little chubby fingers holding on to my shirt. I would rather stay home and be a homemaker, then a full time employee at a large company. But I have hope that One day my husband will have a good job, and I will stay home with my little ones. Its a simple hope, and while we live we always can hope. Hope, imagine it in your future, keep positive, and it will happen. We live by faith and not by facts. God does amazing things even now. My sadness is nothing compared to some families I read about. My heart and prayer goes to this family: http://prayforian.com/

Is it June already?

Wow, June came fast this year. Well this whole year is going super fast. We went to visit my parents on a long road trip all the way to MO. It was nice to see my family, my parents, their new house that they built almost by themselves. On our way back we stopped at the CA ocean, which was nice to relax before we returned to our every day life. Here was a picture of almost all of us together. My parents have 11 grand kids so far!

My girls loved playing with the white puppy.

Seeing the chickens, the ducks and collecting the eggs was an exciting thing for us city folks..:)

Some of the girl cousins sitting together, enjoying ice cream.

All together it was a good trip, and we plan to see all the family again in the near future...:)

How to make a baby stop crying.

I was holding my super cranky 2 month old in my arms, as he kept fussing, crying, flapping his arms and legs all over. The only way he would take his nap if I was breastfeeding him and rocking him to sleep, as soon as I scooted away to do other 'normal mom duties', he would wake up to fuss again. So I was holding him, trying to calm him down, when my 5 year old came up, and asked why he was crying. I told her that possibly his tummy was upset. So in childish faith, she puts her hand on his tummy and in her clear voice she tells him, “May the Lord heal your tummy! Don’t worry baby, Jesus will heal you soon.” To my surprise the little one stopped crying and soon enough he fell into a quiet sleep. I was amazed! Truly only a child’s faith can do that. Try it; it may work for you as well.

So if you want your baby to stop crying, pray to God, who hears every whisper, and He will help you.

~~~Call to me and I will answer you. Jer 33:3~~~

Kiss me goodnight.

Kissing is the surest way of expressing love.

A kiss will ease your pain, ease your fear, or give comfort.

Its a way of speaking, without saying a word.

A kiss is welcomed at any time of day or night.

Its a good way of expressing a "Hello" or "Good bye", or anything in between.

Its easy to forget to give kisses to your loved ones, but its something that will be remembered for a long time to come. Share them. Enjoy them. Love them.

My 3 year old loves kissing her little baby brother. Children know that kissing someone is a sure way to their heart. Its easy to kiss a baby, but when kids grow older we tend to forget to give them hugs and kisses. I still remember every time my dad or mom gave me a hug. They never kissed us, hardly ever hugged us, so it means a lot to me to love my little ones, to hug them and to give them kisses. Even if its a 'kiss goodnight'.

life as we know it...

Life with a newborn is tough. Its an adjustment, especially when you go to church with all 4 kids, and your husband sits in the front of the church, while you are all the way in the back with a crying, fussing infant, who wants to nurse 24/7, a whiny 3 year old, who is going through your diaper bag, taking everything out, trying to find a bag of snacks, and two older girls who talk in church and argue over a toy, or go to the bathroom every few minutes, while I am not looking. Ahhh! An adjustment for sure.

The weather was a bit chilly, and cold, but today its sunny, with little white clouds. It may be a very good day. I need to start working in my garden, planting seeds, planting flowers, waiting for things to grow.

I went to the local small public garden a few weeks ago, the weather was so warm that day. A true spring day. Look at all the beautiful flowers I got pictures of.

Spring is all about the flowers, sun, and warm air. I guess that is why we love it so much.:)

5 weeks.

My little boy is 5 weeks today. Wow, time sure flies! It seems just yesterday I was waddling around, with aching hips, and a big pregnant belly. Now he is here in my life, a beautiful addition to our family. I just love little infants, their hungry cry, their little fist flying, as they try to suck on anything that comes close to their mouths. I am finally getting the hang of nursing this little guy. He is finally learning to latch on perfectly, after many attempts and after many painful tries. But a lot of babies go through that so I know its perfectly normal to have nursing issues at first. He is sleeping up to 3 hrs in a row now, and I am finally coming out of fog of sleep deprivation. All in all, I am finally feeling a bit like myself, and getting my routine back, or as far as possible with having a new little baby in our life.

Life or death?

A life began in darkness, a life snuffed out without regret, who will pay the price? The sadness engulfs me. How can people conceive a life and decide that it’s not something they can give birth to, and decide in a one day decision to take a pill to end a life? How can it be? Why are there some people who believe that it’s a nothing, it’s just a lump of tissue. How can it be? I told her that maybe she can have the baby and give it up for adoption. She said she can’t do that to her baby, will not be able to carry it for 9 months and then give it up. But it is much simpler to just let it go now? To just not even carry it, undeveloped, unlived… I am just emotional and upset about his little human life. So don’t mind me and my emotions. I just hope you are never in this situation to do this to your body and your baby. Life is life, no matter when you choose to end it.


When you choose the lesser of two evils, always remember that it is still an evil.


- Max Lerner

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.


- Hannah Arendt, author

Evil (ignorance) is like a shadow. It has no real substance of its own, it is simply a lack of light. You cannot cause a shadow to disappear by trying to fight it, stamp on it, by railing against it, or any other form of emotional or physical resistance. In order to cause a shadow to disappear, you must shine light on it.


- Shakti Gawain

It smells like spring...!

It feels like spring today! The sky is blue, the air is fresh, the buds are forming on trees, ready to bloom as soon as it warms up even more. Yes, it sure feels like spring here in CA. The past few weeks I was looking through catalogs... so I could order seeds, and flowers, so I can start to garden.

I got my first seed packets in the mail.... I love them.

Yes, I am funny like that. I love seeds, dirt, and planting the seeds in the ground, so then in the summer I get to enjoy a big home grown harvest. This year I got a lot more variety of different seeds. Now I will start to prep my garden, different places that are for different types of plants.

Here is the space in front of my house, where a yellow rose bush is growing, and around the bush I want to plant all kinds of flowers, some of them will be zinnias, and coreopsis. Earlier in the day I took my girls on a walk, and we saw this pretty bush with amazing pink flowers.

A beautiful gift for Valentine's Day from God himself.

My own flowers are growing fast too.

I love the green-blue background on these pictures. Adorable, isnt?

Well, I hope you had a wonderful week, and that you can smell the spring in the air as well. :)

Feeling scared.

I grew up in a large dysfunctional family, which made me be against having a lot of kids. After getting married and after I had my first child, my heart started to change in subtle ways. I fell in love with my little girls, and God showed me that children are blessings from him. I started to read about birth control and how it affects a woman’s body. How many of the birth control don’t prevent the actual pregnancy, but aborts the tiny embryo in its first stages of conceivemen, which makes a woman think that its just a period. Then God showed me in little gentle ways that he sees the souls of each tiny embryo that got unintentionally aborted. That really scared me. But I was still not fully convinced that God wants to be in charge of how many babies I get to have. He is the one who closes the womb and opens it. He is the one who creates the life, who breathes air into little lungs, and makes the heart beat.


Now with having my 3 girls, I am still scared to give the control to God. He knows my heart that I am terrified of giving birth to many children, to have a house full of them, scared of how people react to large families, or seeing a mother pregnant and her hands full with many more children.

So this is my prayer, for God to show me a way to true greatness, and to be a brave mother of many souls, if He is willing.....

Capture faces.

I am joining Beth from I should be folding laundry in Capture the World. Todays photo assigment is to capture faces. I love my little childrens faces.

My own little chubby monkey. I love her soft little cheeks...

Look at her sucking on her thumb...

She was a bit irritated with me at this time, her eyebrows tell a story...:)

My middle child... isnt she cute?

My first born... such a little poser.

Unexpected hair cut.

My husband called today to let me know that our 2nd daughter, Odelia has cut her hair.... Yes, I know, I wasn't very happy about it, in fact I was a bit upset, but it is a bit funny too. I never would have thought that Odelia would do something like this. I would think Ariana could cut her hair, and she did cut her bangs during the summer. Here is her picture here. Which here you cant really see, as she did it a bit to the side.

Here is Odelia before she cut her hair.

When I got home from work today, this is what I saw.

She is very good, isn't she? She wanted to make sure she matched so she cut both sides off. Very stylish, isn't? So we had to do some move cutting....;0, and here is what we could come up with. With all the short angles in her hair, its almost impossible to make it all straight and pretty.

My little flower with her short-boyish hairstyle.... But I still think she looks adorable...:)

My little one is ONE.

My little one turned 1 today. I am amazed how fast she has grown, and how fast the year has passed. This little child of mine, does not want to crawl, but loves to walk in her stroller, or when someone holds her hands. She is still nursing quite often, but is enjoying to eat solid food as well. She has 2 teeth on her upper gum, and 2 more are coming up, and 2 teeth on the lower gum. She loves it when I carry her around and tell her about different things that she sees. Loves to go outside.




Babies are too sweet for words. Makes me want to have a lot more of them....:))