Wednesday, June 30, 2010
In the first years of marriage I was lonely, and was upset that my husband didn't want to spend all his free time with me. Then I went through a stage where I was upset when he didn't show me acts of love in "my" way. I was blind to the acts of kindness and love that he was showing me in his own unique ways. Then I went through some months of disappointment in my husband, I thought he wasn't acting how he should be acting, so I tried to "explain" to him how he should act. I tried hard to change him to no avail, he wouldn't even badge. Sad to say I went through a lot of months, and possibly years in my marriage being frustrated and upset at him. There were a few issues we were going through and some of those issues still remain today, that made me really sad, angry and complaining when my husband did not see those issues as huge problems for our family.
Finally there was a time in my life, that I felt so unhappy, as tears streamed down my face, I sat and cried out to God. To help him heal my marriage, to change me, and make me be a better wife. That's when God started to change me, not my husband. He started to show me all the ways I tried to control my husband, all the times I complained, and He started to work on my heart.
I brought Him my loneliness and He filled me with peace.
I brought Him my sadness and He filled me with joy.
I gave Him all the family issues, and He promised to carry me through them all. He did not say he would remove them from my life, but that He would help me through the hard times, that he would carry me when I couldn't walk. I offered him my health, my children, my husband, my marriage.
I love the gentle ways God works in our life. He hand guiding us through the rough patches. I remember crying hard in the bathroom as I felt Him comfort me and fill me with His amazing presence. I am forever thankful in different ways He carried me in my marriage and filled it with hope and love.
He has removed the neediness, the clinging, the controlling nature and all the dirt to see the gold beneath all the tarnish. In Him alone I found true love, with which I was able to love my husband more. I found true happiness and joy. In God alone. I still have a lot to learn, and there are days I fall back to my old ways and of course make myself miserable. I am glad we have God in our life, who lifts up our souls and helps us through the dark time in our marriage.
I pray that you find the same comfort in Him alone, and that He is the one who heals your marriage.
Here is a link to a some nice advice on marriage as well from focus on the family.
Focus on the family- give your marriage to Jesus.