Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Where is it?

Where is joy hiding? What makes us happy? What causes us to feel content and peaceful, what truly brings that happy joyful feeling into our heart and being? Is it the material, external things like having a family, having a house, having a car? Or maybe happiness comes from the weather? If it’s sunny we are happier, if rainy we are sad? I was trying to catch the ever changing rainbow of happiness, to find the elusive joy in my life, and trying to figure out what truly is making me happy, content, and joyful. Can we truly be joyful every day, or is it day to day experience, very dependable on the things we have and experience? It is truly an interesting question. When I was young, I kept thinking that as soon as I left my parent’s house I would be happy. Then as soon as I marry I would be happy, as soon as I have kids, as soon as we move out of this apartment, as soon as I stop working. … I looked and looked and could not find the happiness in the everyday, could not make myself be truly joyful. Yes, I surely had moments of peace and happiness, but it all came and went, then I felt the gray, blue web of depression, of sadness coming over me, I felt discontentment, upset at people or things in my life, just looking for someone or something to blame my unhappiness on. What is going on? Why am I feeling this? Did I somehow miss the train of joyfulness, and now the winds of uncertainty and change will constantly carry me into the unknown future?

Then I had a glimpse of golden sunny joy. It was right there inside me, it was simmering with laughter, sunlight, and love. Wow, where did this come from? And I realized that having all the things I craved to have is not the source of true joy, when inside of my soul and heart was an empty feeling. I had to have Jesus the source of all joy living inside of me to truly feel the unsurpassed happiness, that didn’t go away with the everyday problems, circumstances or pain. When I started to experience the joy of having Jesus inside of me, living and guiding me, I truly felt happy. I truly felt complete. I stopped looking at things that surround me, or things that I still want, or wishing that things have changed for better, I started to experience the true light of God’s love. He is the only one who can change our outlook on life, and make it all for the better, even when the roof in my house is leaking, and water drips into my bedroom…J

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

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